The recent events have made me wonder how vulnerable and dependent our life has become. I mean our religious and political beliefs are so vulnerable that any one can use them ,  exploit them and mold them to their benefits. Religious and spiritual leaders have been earning loads of money by exploiting us making us shed blood where it benefits them actually under the pretence of Gods will. Similarly the political leaders exploit us and get what and where they want to be in their career. The only reason that they have been able to do that is because we dont read our research . If we look at the religious aspect we dont read Quran with translation , we dont try to understand or find put on our own. We dont study history to know what actually is the issue.All we o is accept whatever any self acclaimed scholar would tell us and to top it off we would fight passionately to defend the ideals that were not ours to be begin with nor that we understood them in any way.

Similarly when we follow a political leader we wont judge him by pros and cons of any person we would follow them for bizzare reasons, like i have seem people follow and support a person passionately because he or she is good looking , played a certain sport that they liked or that he or she is from the area that they belonged or the cast they belonged. his or her political vision or capability comes secondary. I once had this discussion with a friend and she said that you would vote for this leader if you had cancer and was treated in his hospital and I told her that i would not even vote for the doctor who would save my life because choosing a leader doesnt mean that you choose a person because you are obliged by him or her. voting for someone means that you judge whether he or she would be able to perfomr even if you personally dont like him or find him attractive. A leaders capability and international standing should be the criterion not anything else.

Our religion teaches us one thing and that is to look to study to read to research and find out but we never do this one thing that our religion wants us to do before doing anything else. The first that God ordered our prophet to do was to read. And today we would kill in our prophets name but we would not follow him. His tolerance , kindness, honesty and good manners is all but lost to us. We have forgotten his love for acquiring knowledge, justice, and mutual tolerance among people of different opinions and even different religions. He wanted his Ummah to read and acquire knowledge both worldly and religious. But look at us we buy everything but we dont buy books , our cities are full of shops but you wont find a book shop. In my city there is none. all the shops who claim to be book shops are actually stationery shops and they have everything but books..... they would even have custom made jewellery but no books. the libraries in our country are almost non existent but we dont worry about that because learning is not our priority anymore.We have forgotten the basic rule that if you want to rule and progress in this world than you have to learn.

If we understand and try to learn than these fake people wont be able to exploit us..... but for that we need to put learning and reading our foremost priority. Instead of praising the muslim scholars of the past we need to try to be one of them..... we need to question , we need to learn and acquire, not land but knowledge. 

my thoughts for today

when i was a kid i wanted to become an archaeologist or a historian so i could travel and do research , read loads of books and write many. i wanted to become a famous writer. but when it came to selecting a career i realized that i did not have much of a choice in that matter. the subjects that my college offered were limited to being pre medical, pre engineering and if i changed college they options expanded to a mere economics maths or arts and home economics. i was so confused and part of me was so clueless that i selected pre medical just because i did not know what to do and how to go about. At that time there was not much to choose from specially for people like me who wanted was to search and study life and humans. so my dream of being of being a historian is still a dream and i still, at the age of 33 don't have a clue what to do with my life. i feel that God created us all for a reason and all our life we struggle to find that reason and the moment we find that reason we die, i feel that this is the irony of life that in the end we realize that this was not about what we thought it to be about.

the only part of my dream that can be made true is that i continue writing no matter how illogical it may sound or whether anyone likes it or not i should continue it because for me writing is all i have , its all i know. for me its like a stress buster like a power to deal with life, to face problems no matter how small or big they are. the other part of my dream that i wish would become a reality is travelling , i want to see the historical places like turkey and Italy and France and Spain etc. the places that made our world what it is. i want to understand what and why decisions were made in history , decisions that chiseled and molded our cultures and society and religions to what they are now. As i always say that this thought humbles me the most that i am just an insignificant grain of the sand of humanity, when i die nobody would remember or care who i was or what i thought. we remember the important people who made an impact on society , history, culture or religion. people like me are so unimportant and we would pass unnoticed in this world. This humbles me every time and puts me in my place and also makes me want to understand why some important people who had the chance and choice to effect humanity or history made important decisions for the worst. But this is life and you cant put it in one scale and judge it on a fixed set of criteria. But the mind wanders and want answers and put some questions out there in the world without wanting any answers.

when i was young , not that i am old now, but still when i was younger i used to think that why i believe in one God so ardently, i mean the promise of heaven was not such an attraction for me nor was the hell so scary that i would base my belief system on just that...... then why ? as i grew older and i would want to say wiser , just wondering at this question was not enough i had to find the answer and i think i now know that the actual reason is that there is no other truth than the oneness of god in this world. i mean i will not bore you with scientific and religious or philosophical logic to prove my point. i would just say that for me there is no other truth more overpowering and clear than this. and it shows in every place and every community and every religion.  all of us from different religions think we believe in different ideologies and belief systems and yet in our differences we have oneness. we think that the people before us were different or the ones coming ahead will be unlike us but the social patterns of history claim violently the oneness , the uniformity in humans. we boast our selves of the casts, creed , nations and communities that we have built that identifies us and in this unique identity is oneness.  the base of all our cultures and religions in fact all of humanity is oneness.  how can we not see the truth , how can we ignore it... atleast i cant . but the sad part is that though the truth is so plainly out there for all to see and accept, we cant stop fighting and many times creating differences. we try to defy the very foundation that actually unifies us and we tend to claim we know the truth by trying to break free from it. but as they say that no matter how hard you try or how loud you scream you can not hide the power of a mere whisper of the truth. eventually in the end only truth prevails. you can bury it deep down inside but eventually it floats and finds its way out. there is nothing more powerful than the truth, you dont even need to advocate it or justify it, knowing is enough, believing is enough. what is the point of speaking if you dont believe it from your heart. there have been times in my life when i knew truth but couldnt defend it and now that i look back at that time i feel that there is no possible way i could have done that in fact the power of truth is so that you dont need to defend it, you dont need to preach it. all you have to do is believe in it with your heart and mind and it would reflect in your actions and the power it will give you will be far stronger than words without conviction.

Tinku's world : the foam of the sea

One hot afternoon when Tinku came back from school, he shouted “ mama, bring cold juice its so hot I think I might melt”. His Dadda ji who was sitting in the lounge laughed “ what over dramatic kid you are.” Tinku smiled and said “ no really dadda ji it is so hot”. Tinkus mother brought juice and gave him a glass full. His younger sister munni drank one too. Munni said “ mama you know guddi is going on th beach this weekend , she would have so much fun” tinku on hearing this shouted “ we should go too, it would be so cool and fun”. His mother smiled and said “ I am sure she would enjoy it but Beta we cant your dad is busy, but I promise I would take you all in the coming month”. Tinku made a face and grumpily said “ but it is hot today. How I wish to see the sea and sand and make sand castles”.

Their mother looked at dadda ji helplessly. Dada ji smiled and nodded and their mother went back to kitchen. Dadda ji switched on the TV to discovery channel where co incidentally they were showing the sea and a beach. Tinku's face lit up, he smiled and said to his sister “ Munni look how clean the water is and look at the waves” Munni sighed and replied “ yes and the sea shells....”

A couple of minutes later dadda ji noticed a thoughtful expression on tinku's face and asked him the reason “ why what is wrong tinku, you seem to be in deep thought.” Tinku replied” dadda ji I was just wondering...” daddaji said “ yes?” tinku said “ look at the foam the waves bring, I was wondering why the color of the foam of the sea is white?”.

Dadda ji smiled and said “ come here I would tell you”. So tinku got up and sat beside his dadda ji and dadda ji told him “foam is made up of so many little bubbles, each acting as a prism, and refracting the suns rays into their primary colors. As there are so many prisms, the various rays are so interlaced and interwoven as to produce white light thus giving the foam white color.”

tinku jumped excitedly and said “ thank you Dada ji , I would write this in my diary and tell my friends too.” daddaji smiled at him lovingly and said “ your welcome beta, now go and change your clothes and lets have dinner.” 

may god never give me power.... amen.

It is a well known fact that with power comes great responsibility, responsibility to be wise , to put others before you, to be far sighted in the decisions you make. It is a very humble request from my heart that if god has given you power , power to effect even one person’s life please don’t ruin it. We tend to become out of control in our effort to gain control over another being. This is not just a fact that can be seen when taking under consideration political scenarios like Gaza, Iraq , Burma, Somalia or any other country or nation, its not even how our own countries economy and social set up is being molded , its about the basic nature of us humans. Be it any relation or any other social affiliations we have , if we know that somebody’s self respect or any other important aspect of life can be affected by what we do, we tend to exploit it. We make sure that the person would remember that he ever crossed our path. No wonder god said that He would test us by giving us power n we think that since we are not royalty or head of state or any politician so we are exempted by this examination of our character strength. But if you think about it more closely we would find out that each and every one of us is being tested upon for the very criterion ; being in power , being able to effect people. If you are a nobody even than you would have people depending upon you , if you don’t agree than think again…. Even if you are just an ordinary man even than your relations are dependent upon you, if nobody else than your kids are and as a parent I can assure you that we try to mess their minds and ideals more than we even realize. We have grown this narrow set of rules that we follow about life and religion and the out come has to be in our favor. We by nature can not be gracious enough to co exist without dominating a human being or getting dominated by another. All of the nation in the past , present and I am sure in future have been trying their best to create a world of peace , a safe heaven where THEY can guide the rest of the humans about how to live, what is right and wrong and achieve such a noble and divine task they choose the tool of war and hatred and each and every religion that these nations follow teach them about tolerance and love and peace and yet for the same religion they fight and kill. It appears that they are fighting on behalf of God instead of for him. God in any religion never ordered to fight for him , or to choose hatred to spread His name, this negates the concept of God. We humans have the arrogance to think that we are needed to make God popular among the masses and this audacity amazes me. If we understand that our only responsibility is to do what our God wants us to do , than half our problems will be solved. We have fought each other for centuries to create peace and harmony and yet a day hasn’t passed in this world where everybody was in peace. I was watching Joan of arc and one scene just explained it for me.... the scene is that Joan of arc was captured and the priests accused her of doing this all for herself and not god while she in her mind was doing it for god as a prophecy and then she goes into this psychological trance. I think that explains a part of each one of us.... I think we all do what we want to and use a justification for our actions that we did it for a greater cause. I think under the fake blanket of graciousness and virtue we all have our own selfish and meager interest. I have seen that the people who really want to serve don’t want power and those who want power don’t want to serve. Even if we don’t accept this but the truth is that those who actually believe in God believe in humanity, in harmony , in coexisting . For them the concern is not who is right and who is wrong or how they can force people to accept what they think is right , actually they don’t have any concern for them their own relation with their God should be strong and pure rest just falls into place. We have wasted centuries of intelligence in finding out the correct law to live and yet we don’t understand what living is. And so I rest my case I just want to be happy and contended in my life as I feel that no amount of riches or power is worth it if they don’t make you happy. And if simple things in life make you happy than you have hit home, you have learnt the art of living. And for my dream in life , to achieve happiness it is very important for me to understand that power and happiness don’t go together … so I pray I never have the power to affect anybody’s life on a smaller or larger scale because I for one understand the responsibility that comes with power.  

political de ja vu

The other day I was listening to a political program and it made me wonder; how easy it is to change the thinking and make us follow a trend webbed so cleverly around us that we fall in the same trap again and again. Before I give you my views or thoughts I would , I want to clarify that I don’t follow any political party as I think that selecting bad from worse is not a choice but a “majboori” which in my small opinion is something I would rather pass. I know some of you would say that if I don’t vote I should not say anything but then again I personally cant hero worship people without finding faults with them and their thinking. I mean it is some kind of obligation in the minds of most of our people that if we agree or follow a political group, we have to blindly agree and follow them and even if somebody criticizes them, we should turn hostile. So please before reading what I have to say, keep your anger aside and think.I just met a friend of mine who has recently found that Salvation is by following PTI. I am not against Imran Khan, actually I am a fan of his cricket and when he married Jamima and people called him names, I argued with them that he is not doing anything wrong. But when it comes to politics I have some reservations, not because of his personality but because of how he started and where he is headed. I mean it is not hidden that PTI was started by him with the support of retd gen. In fact his first manifesto was written by a retd gen who was information sectary in Zia’s regime. He is friends with a lot retd generals and their sons and plays ‘shikar’ with them and stay at their farm houses and they support him. Even Pervez Musharraf sent him puppies through a friend. So his connection with the “agencies” as they call them is not hidden and cannot be hidden. But what I don’t agree with is that he criticizes them so passionately. But he is not the only one who has gone through the same path and we have seen the result before in history as well. Let’s turn back time and see that similar leaders have emerged and followed the same path and got the same response and unfortunately the end was similar too. I truly hope and wish from the bottom of my heart that this time the end is different and positive. One great politician of the past who stirred same emotions and love in the people specially the students and youngsters and even the critics of that time is a name still loved by people and still is being cashed in politics as a savior, I think you all have guessed that the name is of none other than Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto. He was introduced by his mentor Ayub khan who was a general; he even served in his regime as well. When Bhutto sahib gained popularity and response similar to Imran he left the mentor and started one of the biggest parties of our country. The rest is known by all and as they say is history. He had the same ardent follow ship by so many just like the millions of people following Imran. Another important and great politician who has enjoyed an equal amount of love from people and still does is Nawaz Sharif. He too was a protégé of gen. Zia, served in his regime and then flourished. His career is still going on and we have witnessed his positive and negative policies. Another huge similarity that we should not turn a blind eye to is that all of these used and are still using the strength of the population that can turn the nation and when the damage is done it is too late to fix it. Yes that strength is the youth, the students, and the future of any nation. All of our political leaders without any exception urge the students to play their role, come on the streets shed blood. And this strength has given these leaders immortality, made them emerge as such hugely popular and strong leader that you can’t imagine. I once read that some students welcomed Quaid-e-azam Mohd. Ali Jinnah at a station and offered their support, services and blood. And the Quaid said that if you want to serve their nation, concentrate on your studies. But our leaders want blood wants students out on roads and ironically people call them the Quaid. Any ways I think that if you want to follow any of the options that are available please don’t do that blindly. Please criticize them when necessary, please object when they are deviating from their manifesto, please don’t make them as Sufis or dervish to be followed without question or objection. I want to request the same form the media personalities, the anchors and the critics as a huge responsibility lies with them as well. They should realize that whomever they promote or agree with puts a huge impact and influence on people. They set trends and we follow and like all trend setters they have a big responsibility on their shoulders. As the saying goes ‘with great power comes greater responsibility’. So you see, it is dejavu and this time my heart beats faster and prays harder that God please bless us with a different ending.

conspiracy mongers

A lot of things going around make me wonder and one such thing is what pops on in social media regularly after two to three weeks and that is something about the shooting of Malala. We all must have read this or shared it on face book how her shooting was fake and how her wounds were fake and how she was working for CIA and her father was cashing in on it and how this is only a conspiracy against Islam and Pakistan etc etc. well for starters not even 1 person claiming to know all this actually saw her or was there when she was operated but still for the sake of argument even if you were not present there or knew somebody who was present there, you want people to believe your photo shop version of the so called “truth” rather than believing half of the armed forces, people who tended to her operated her looked after her in Rawalpindi and abroad. All these reputed doctors and security personnel are lying , helping being part of this conspiracy , all but you who for the sake of it changed the pictures in photo shop and are feeding people false conspiracy alarm. I also wonder on the intelligence of the so called educated politicians and youth that they try their level best to find a conspiracy behind this event but they overlook some very important issues which are actually effecting our strength as a nation. We would keep on waiting for that attack on our national interest which was helped by shooting malala for some reason but we wont try to stop this new plague that has started to grow and our politicians are trying to put this in our heads to forward their own agenda which is getting votes. I never heard anybody raising a voice or sharing a picture when Bilawal addresses the Sharif as the Sharif of Punjab or as the Sharif of Lahore, nobody asks him why are you discriminating them why not call the Pakistani, why Punjabi? Why telling the rest of the people that they wont be thinking of other provinces because they are from Punjab. Similarly nobody asks Mr. Asfandyar Wali when he said that Urdu is the language of the enemy...... I was taught that Urdu is the national language of Pakistan, why call it the language of the enemy just because MQM claim to be Urdu speaking..... and why and how can we call some people muhajir and make it a tug of war for the most important city in our country. The people who came to Pakistan from India are as much Pakistani as we are who were born here, why still fighting for some issue which is being imposed on us. This is the same issue which was raised by raw made mukti bahini before east Pakistan was separated from us, they also made Urdu the issue which was never the case. You can read books written by so many Bangladeshi’s that Urdu was never the issue of the people, this hatred was fed into the hearts of Bengali for the non- Bengali slowly similarly the way they are feeding it in hearts of muhajir n the rest of the people. It was only the game of power, who would get to be the prime minister, who would rule and they tore a nation into two. Urdu which was the uniting power for the creation of Pakistan , how can it be the dividing rule for the nation it identifies with.

So its my humble request to the overworking minds of the conspiracy mongers that if you really want to find CIA or raw's role behind a conspiracy than find out why are we people demanding separate identities rather than being the one that we are blessed with. And we should also stop defaming malala because America is attacking with drones..... seriously this is the most illogical link. If you also condemn drone attacks like me than start making yourself heard instead of bashing a small girl who was shot, start a petition write to United Nations, write to foreign news blogs and channels, get your petitions signed and then make them known to the authorities. Ask the self proclaimed “only educated” political party that if they condemn the attacks prove it by providing the youth with these pledges and letters which can be signed and send them to the outer world and organize seminars which will guide the youth to learn to protest and prove their point the way educated and mature nations do. There should be a difference between educated politicians and uneducated ones. Social media should be used to spread values and knowledge instead of making people hostile against each other. It should teach youth tolerance and responsibility rather than ignite them to burn buildings and kill teachers or hang themselves. If we agree to them than we are being partners of their crime, the crime all of them are committing just to get political power, power over our lives. Even if they have power to control our lives I think they should not have the power to control our minds and we should not allow the the comfort that they can make us believe anything whenever they want, we have a right to raise voices and issues , the right which is given to us by our identity that is “ Pakistani” at least this is the only identity I have. Please don’t anything or anyone make you question this identity based on any discrimination.